House-bound

Reinhold Niebuhr:
Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.

After spending the last two days at home, and I mean at home… no leaving the house at all, I conclude that it is at once a torture and a joy. For many a reason which: I am too lazy to type about. :p

I spent my last two days in the house, doing as much studying as I possibly could.
Almost drove myself crazy looking at all the graphs, theories and yet more graphs…
-coughs blood-
So much to do, so little time…
-coughs more blood-
Then again, if I were to say that I spent all my time studying, I would be telling a big fat lie… coz I also played computer, watched television and banged the piano… but most importantly, I slept!
-chucklez-

The rain these two days damn shiok lor~
So refreshing!
When it rains, it’s the perfect time to sleep!
-hysterical laughter-

Been hearing this song on the radio…

NE-YO - So Sick

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Let it go
Turning off the radio

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?


There has been much running through my head these few days… so many things I itch to write about, but yet, I don’t for specific reasons…
All those thoughts just keep swirling round and round …
Most of the time, I just let them pound until, when I can no longer stand it… I resort to writing poetry…
-psychotic laughter-
I want so much to talk out my problems and get some closure regarding those subjects… but who can I talk to?
Talking to my family is kind of a problem… coz they would probably end up lecturing me for getting myself into those messes… or they would not be able to understand coz the age gap is just too big… den again, maybe I don give them enough credit…
-hits head against the wall-
I can’t talk to certain people about certain things, coz why?
I know too much.
Yes, by golly, I know too freaking much… thank God I have a bad memory… if not I would not be able to sleep at night… bleah…
Knowledge is not necessarily power.
Taking the whole ‘closure from talking to someone’ from another angle… I don think it would be fair to the person I talk to, I would be burdening that person with my own problems… and is it not true that we all have issues of our own?
Gwad… what a mess… -.-lll
-continues hitting head against the wall-

Da Chang Jin has taken my television room by storm!
Every night, TKM,YKM and (sometimes) I, will sit in front of the tube and watch the exploits of that girl… haha…
Personally, I am more interested in Min Zheng Hao then Chang Jin… haha… he is gorgeous lor! Can you blame me for looking out for him? :p
-migumi laughter-

Aight!
The weekend awaits… and so does Witch Hunter Robin…
-hysterical laughter-
^-^

Ants at the CC

Audre Lorde:
The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference.
Helen Keller:
We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.
Henry David Thoreau:
You must love the crust of the earth on which you dwell more than the sweet crust of any bread or cake. You must be able to extract nutriment out of a sand-heap. You must have so good an appetite as this, else you will live in vain.

Qns: How productive have my study sessions been?
Ans: *bangs head against the wall*

Its irritating how little I seem to be doing with my notes… basket… I might even have to resort to burning them and drinking them into my system… that is a hack of a load of notes lor… I think even if I start burning now… I won’t be able to finish drinking them down before the papers end… might as well burn them and breathe in the fumes… that would be a whole lot faster… -.-lll
-continues banging head against the wall-

The whole of Tuesday was spent at home… the only exceptions being:
Marketing with TKM
Cell group.

Wednesday, the day of training.
-psychotic laughter-
Studied till it was time to go to school.
Had a mini study session with Yang Mui and Geoffrey.
Productive?
Maybe more for Yang Mui then I.
Training was interesting. Spent some of it in Cat’s car… coz she forgot to bring part of the gi… so had to drive home to get it… I tagged along… car ride~
-does dance of joy-

The session at the CC was marred by the ants.
Yes, I blame it on the ants… :p
They were everywhere!
And I was not the only one who got bitten lor~

Ally, Chi Foong, Hakim and Gordon will be going for their gradings on 8 April.
Needless to say, I will be there… I think it’s become more of a habit… or should I say, permanent part of my schedule…
-hysterical laughter-
I will be there to wave pompoms for them :D

So many things to do, so little time… such a familiar sensation… ‘sian’sation more like it… X.xlll

Gonna haul myself in the house for the next two days… let’s see how successful I will be ya?
Shall do my darnest to study and pound my grey matter as much as possible…

Oh!
I love Wang Leehom’s Kiss Goodbye!
*sigh*
If I could get my hands on the score sheet… imagine the havoc I would rack…
-hysterical laughter-

Lunch is calling … and I’m off to make the most of my day… productive!
With God’s help I shall!
Woohooo~
Jia you everyone!
^-^

Shuai Qi

“The good die young, assholes live forever.” – Anon (s).

William Ellery Channing:
I do not look on a human being as a machine, made to be kept in action by a foreign force, to accomplish an unvarying succession of motions, to do a fixed amount of work, and then to fall to pieces at death, but as a being of free spiritual powers; and I place little value on any culture but that which aims to bring out these, and to give them perpetual impulse and expansion.
William James:
Cramming seeks to stamp things in by intense application immediately before the ordeal. But a thing thus learned can form but few associations.
Winston Churchill:
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
Aeschylus:
There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.

Sickening how time flies aye?
Especially when you are having such fun with life… haha~

Last Monday was spent in school, studying OT with Sian li… or at least I tried to study… but I ended up buying materials to write letters… haha… went for meeting den helped out with training…

Tuesday, final local Micro lecture… bleah… had to end so fast… *cough blood*
Since my OT local lecture was in the evening, I made plans with Sian li and Catherine to study/hang out. You don have to be a genius to know which option is the one we did… haha… was late for OT lecture, but Sunny was the latest.
The lecture was supposed to start at 6pm, but he arrived at 6.45pm odd… coz he thought that the lecture was a 7pm one… oh well~
We ended up staying till. 9.30pm… good thing Esther’s parent came to pick us up… if not I think I would have reached home at midnight…heh~

Had lunch with Nadia on Wednesday, then went to SIM for training… but I was kinda late, due to my sleeping. Damn paiseh about being late… but I was freaking tired that day man… I would have slept the whole afternoon away if not for training. Went to Kovan after that and ended up doing admin and teaching Desmond his pattern.
-hits head against the wall-
My actions that were rather out of line, so I guess I have to keep myself more in track … gwad… what a headache…

On Thursday, I tried to study, but I ended up sleeping… haha… been doing that a lot lately… haha… but it feels good… can do more things when I have more energy. Besides, my body needs to heal… haha… sleep is good~
Went to work in the evening and then knocked out late… haha… bad girl!

Friday was supposed to have been spent in school studying with Shir, Aziz and Desmond, but after planning with Shir on Thursday night, we decided make a rain check on the study group… coz of the time constraints and what not… so I ended up spending my afternoon studying…
Den I got a call from Swee Shoon… free tickets to watch “Failure to Launch”!
At the new Cathay Cineplex no less!
Woohoo~~
We had fun watching the movie and taking pictures all over the new building… heh… good thing we din get mistaken for potential terrorists…
-hysterical laughter-
I even got a picture taken of the new X-men movie that is coming out in May!
-more hysterical laughter-
Wolverine!
-swoons-
The place is really worth going to…
The seats are comfy, the popcorn is sweet (just the way I like it) and the toilets are interesting… very designer cool…
-laughs out loud-
I recommend that everyone go watch movies there as soon as possible, before the hands of time ravage the place and you get a stinky, crappy building… heh…
Thanks Shoon! :D
Next stop: Ichiban Boshi!
Wahahaha~

Saturday, went to work in the morning, took a turn at the library and then went home to study for the whole afternoon and evening… rather proud of myself for getting though so much, but I admit, I got hack of a freaking large load to plough through before I will really be satisfied with myself…
-bangs head against the wall-
managed to sleep earlier than usual that night… good thing too. Had to wake up early on Sunday to go to Toa Payoh…

Had breakfast with Eileen at the McD in Toa Payoh before going to the sports stadium to help out with the admin for the Poomsae seminar: ‘Wired to win’
The sight and sound of a stadium full of Black belters doing poomsae together is a beauty unto itself.
Such ‘sae’ and ‘shuai-qi’… can get high man~
-migumi laughter-
got quite a few changes to the poomsae… there is plenty of modifying to do… affects when I decide to go for my grading as well… gosh… more things to think about = more headache… haha…
The whole thing ended around noon, so hung out with my SIM TKD peeps.
We had lunch at BK (so long since I ate at BK… miss my mushroom-swiss… *sigh*…).
Went to town afterward and walked the afternoon away at Wisma and Takashimaya. Walk until my knee damn pain… haha… but it was interesting… :)
Made for Kovan, was very late but in time for pattern training, taught the new white belts… and wanted to bash the head of one of the poom belters… basket idiot is a ‘pui-poom’… shesh~
I almost tore someone’s head off. But I din have the heart to scold that person. Donno if I am hurting or saving. Which action would be worse?
Argh~

The Commonwealth games just came to a close… very proud of Team Singapore!
Such pride I feel when I see the national flag being hoisted up and the anthem being played at the same time…
You’ve done well guys!
-waves pompoms all over the place-

Talking about national anthems… I like the New Zealand and England national anthems… heh… I support the All Blacks… is that such a surprise? :p
Pomp and Circumstance is a song that evokes just that… pomp and circumstance… haha… sounds damn good when a full orchestra plays it. If played live… wah… sure lau nuah one!
-psychotic laughter-

I went to the doctor this morning for a follow up on my knee injury… it was not a scheduled follow up. I went because I was very concerned about my knee. Din feel like it was healing right…
Verdict from Doc: listen to my body… its gonna take a while… gwad~

Parv!
You de woman!
Thanks!

Yang Mui!
My poa is a mess!

Yingz!
Call me when you’re free!

Have to exercise my faith.
It works wonders. :)
Praise God!
-bounces off the walls-

Cheers everyone!
^-^

Poetry : Forget

Every semblance of being
Every emotion and thought
Touch nothingness and experience the sensation
Memories that fade
Quantities that bring the stampede
It meant nothing
Should not be anything
Kidding the rationalization.
The beat of the unknown
I felt your pain
Saw your problems
Tried to be of help
Oh look what you’ve done
Infinitesimal chaos theory ensues
Who is to blame in the end?

Ins and outs
Ups and downs
Blood and stabbing
Sickening recapitulation of knowledge.

I know too much.

Over a period of 3 hours...

Will Durant:
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
William Butler Yeats:
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
William Ellery Channing:
But the ground of a man's [sic] culture lies in his nature, not in his calling. His powers are to be unfolded on account of their inherent dignity, not their outward direction. He is to be educated, because he is a man, not because he is to make shoes, nail, or pins.

One week’s flown by… believe me I meant to post… just din have the inspiration to do so… gosh what a bleah sensation that is…

Currently multi-tasking… uploading pictures from the IVP onto my site and typing this out at the same time… might watch the new anime airing on Arts Central later… its taking over the samurai anime which just ended last night… I din have any affinity for that particular series… no kick… how I miss my Inuyasha… haha… even Hellsing was better… blood and gore… gosh… what am I thinking?
-psychotic laughter-

Had my first local revision lecture this morning. Subject: Microeconomics.
-starts hitting head against the wall-
Damn it… I got a long way to go… not just for this subject… for every blardy thing I am sitting for this term… argh~
I so need to get my game on! What the hack am I doing to myself????
-continues hitting head against the wall-

The lecture started late coz Mr. Seet was given the wrong venue… he was ranting about it quite a bit… “Lecturers are also human you know?”
Ook… -.-lll
Sat with Wan Qiu and the SRC lot during the lecture… really feeling the pressure to keep up… gosh… better be doing plenty of Micro before Tuesday. That’s when the next Micro Local lecture is…

Came home right after class for lunch… Mmm… I love TKM’s cooking… heh…
Knocked out in the hot afternoon… woke up for dinner and here I am typing away… haha~

Monday, the training was damn heart-pain for me.
How to train with the rest when I can’t even take part in the warm-up?
It so saddening!
I see the rest kicking away… and here I am not even able to stand straight for more than 2 minutes... *cries*
Went to Whampoh after that.
Kelvin and Wei Wen joined me for dinner… heh… the service was very slow that evening…

Tuesday was spent at home… trying to study… but ended up sleeping in the afternoon… I guess its becoming a habit… haha… went for cell group in the evening… Vanessa turned up… surprise of the day… did some catching up with Grace over the phone that night… haven spoken to her in quite a while… hopefully we will be able to go out and do some serious catching up some time soon.
Stay strong sista!
CSI is back on the tube!
My Nicki-boi!
-swoons-
Shaved his head some more!
Wah Lau!
-swoons even more-
-dreamy sigh-

Wednesday.
Went for the Macro paper…
Wanted to walk out after the first hour…if they had allowed us to just take the question paper and go, I would have done that.
Than again, I haven walked out on a paper yet. And I don intend to start anytime soon.
So I wrecked my brain, almost fell asleep and slogged it out till the 3 hours was over.
In the end I wrote more than the minimum… hahaha… turned the Macro paper in to a OT/Soci paper in the process though… sure gonna get burned I tell you… hahaha…
Had a 4-hour break between the paper and training that day.
Initially din want to go for training, but Sian li asked to study together in school, so might as well lor… coz I come home also will fall asleep… hahah…
Watched Diana and Wei wen eat their lunchs den ate with Sianli, then watched Michelle eat her lunch… haha…
Studied in the library. But I did play with the laptop while I was there…
-chuckles-
5pm struck, so we left for the Plaza.

Pek chek once more.

Went to Kovan with Sir.
Watched Wei Wen eat his dinner before settling my Starhub bill and buying some other stuff… den headed home… walked a lot… gah!~

Yesterday, I spent the whole day at home until I had to go to work… haha… shuang only ah~

Just finished watching Robin Witch Hunter.
It looks promising… shall watch the next episode this coming Wednesday.
-grinz-

The weekend is upon us.
Tomorrow must study.
Sunday is the final leg of the Spex tournament. Continued from last year.
Best of the Best.
Gonna be a energy sapping weekend.
But I get to see my friends.
That more than makes up for everything. :D

Parveen!!!
We better meet up soon woman!
Much to talk about. Much, much, much!

Yang Mui~
When is your first revision lecture?

Argh~
I hate mosquitoes!

Still multi-tasking… the photos are a huge lot… taking a long time xia~

Goodnight~
^-^

NTU TKD Championships 2006

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion . . . It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting that you shall learn what you have no taste or capacity for. The college, which should be a place of delightful labour, is made odious and unhealthy, and the young men are tempted to frivolous amusements to rally their jaded spirits. I would have the studies elective. Scholarship is to be created not by compulsion, but by awakening a pure interest in knowledge. The wise instructor accomplishes this by opening to his pupils precisely the attractions the study has for himself. The marking is a system for schools, not for the college; for boys, not for men; and it is an ungracious work to put on a professor.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood.
Richard Bach:
Learning is finding out what we already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers and teachers.
Robert Fulghum:
All I really need to know ... I learned in kindergarten.
Robert Green Ingersoll:
It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.
Roger Lewin:
Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
Russell Baker:
An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.
Saint Francis de Sales:
You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so, you learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves.
Samuel Gompers:
What does labor want? We want more schoolhouses and less jails; more books and less arsenals; more learning and less vice; more leisure and less greed; more justice and less revenge; in fact, more of the opportunities to cultivate our better natures, to make manhood more noble, womanhood more beautiful, and childhood more happy and bright.
Sidonie Gruenberg:
Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others.
Simone Weil:
The joy of learning is as indispensable in study as breathing is in running. Where it is lacking there are no real students, but only poor caricatures of apprentices who, at the end of their apprenticeship, will not even have a trade.
St. Francis Xavier:
Give me the children until they are seven and anyone may have them afterward.
Susan B. Anthony:
If all the rich and all of the church people should send their children to the public schools they would feel bound to concentrate their money on improving these schools until they met the highest ideals.
Thomas H. Huxley:
Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever or whatever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing.
Thomas Jefferson:
Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government.
Thucydides:
History is Philosophy teaching by examples.
Unknown:
Some children's answers to church school questions - from the Church of England:

This entry continued ...
Vernon Cooper:
These days people seek knowledge, not wisdom. Knowledge is of the past, wisdom is of the future.
Virgil:
As the twig is bent the tree inclines.
Virginia Woolf:
To enjoy freedom, if the platitude is pardonable, we have of course to control ourselves. We must not squander our powers, helplessly and ignorantly, squirting half the house in order to water a single rose-bush; we must train them, exactly and powerfully, here on the very spot.
Virginia Woolfe:
The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
W. E. Gladstone:
Never forget that the purpose for which a man lives is the improvement of the man himself, so that he may go out of this world having, in his great sphere or his small one, done some little good for his fellow creatures and labored a little to diminish the sin and sorrow that are in the world.
Wendy Kaminer:
Only people who die very young learn all they really need to know in kindergarten.

Why the numerous quotes?
Coz I din touch the computer for the past two days… a record actually… and I am making up for lost time… haha

IVP was finally held over the weekend… so many things happen lor… donno where to start…
-silent in thought-

-still thinking-

ok… last start from Friday ba~

Friday morning had to get up early to go to school for the POA mock… I mean PRELIM exam…
Totally puked my way through the paper… I din even do the Profit and Loss cum Balance Sheet question… din know how to do it in the first place… sure bomb out on the paper xia…
-hits head against the wall-
Oh well… its my fault anyway… I don mix with the subject … have to force myself to … hahaha

After the paper… I had a 5-hour stretch before the start of training… really had no idea what I was going to be doing during that time… Thank God for my darling Cat… she came to school to pick me up and we hung out at her place for the whole afternoon…
We ate lunch (bought from the now-not-that-smelly- school canteen), watched anime and The 13th Warrior. Haha…
She’s got a really cool home… nuff said.

We hung out until about 6.30pm before heading out to Clementi MRT station to pick up Jason and Eileen to go to training in school.

Praise God!
I could do the pattern!
Woohooo~
-bounces off the walls-
It felt good to be able to do the pattern with the team once more… heh

Had dinner with Daphne, Eelin, Wei Wen, Arthur and Alan before heading home… and trying to get to sleep… please note that the key word here is ‘TRY’… I tossed and turned the whole night… shesh~
Had blue bags under my eyes when the alarm clock went off…

Had the alarm clock set for 5.45am… all in an effort to leave the house before 6.30am and take bus, followed by MRT, to Boon Lay – Subsequently NTU… Why does that place have to be so gosh-darn-god-damn far away???
-shakes head in irritation-
Luckily got Desmond to talk to during the train ride… if not sure bored to bits… and I might have ended up falling asleep along the way :P
Reached NTU at about 8.20am… waited for the rest of the team to turn up and then did a few trial runs of the patterns for the competition…
The scare of the day was my knee going “kraack-krac” during the initial run though… rolled on the floor in pain… but in the end… we managed to get the pattern done for real. :)
Was very worried that the knee would back fire on me during the competition itself… thank God it did not…

I’m very proud of the Ee-jung pattern team!
They put did a lot of effort and are the overall winners in my eyes… don care what other people say… blast the judges… they ROCKED!
As for my Chil-jung… the same thing applies… one month of training with glitches all over the place, from people dropping out to getting injured and training last minute… I serious think we did a damn-blardy-good job.
Booyah!

The entire team went to Jurong Point for lunch before most of us headed back to NTU to watch the bouts…
Swee Shoon had the honour and stress of being in the first bout… his opponent was Edmin Lam… ala former National Player and Sea Games Bronze medalist… don play-play…
I must admit that I was very worried about Swee Shoon going into this match… very proud of his performance… Shall see him doing SMU proud next year…
Jia You ah Shoon~!
-waves pompoms-

stayed in the area all the way past 5pm… watched quite a few bouts… heh… had to rush off because of the wedding dinner I had to attend in the evening…
My cousin’s wedding dinner was held at Katong Complex and it was a very warm and quaint affair… the food was good… I love being teochew… heh…
I wish I could have worn my high-heels but my knee was being a bitch so I had to wear flats instead… oh well~
Drank wine… and took my meds… wrong combination… haha… but I din know until I downed the concoction…
-hysterical laughter-
Took more medication when I got home… made sure my things were in order for day 2, then put my head on my pillow and konked out till the alarm went off… haha~

For day 2, my alarm was set for 6.30am instead, coz the plan was that Sean and I were to take a cab to NTU… hack of a lot easier and less stress on my knees… but the fare was crazy…
Got to the school and got ready for the day ahead… SIM’s competitors all had their bouts yesterday and in this order:
Hakim, Jill, Desmond, Alan, Sean and then me… I think I could be wrong about the sequence… bleah…
Sean did us all proud by killing off his first opponent and getting a bronze afterward.
-throws pompoms all over the place-

As for me, my first bout was a walk over, my opponent din turn up.
The second one was against Dawn.
Needless to say, I was a sandbag for that match…
But, I feel more satisfied with myself for giving the entire match a chance instead of throwing the towel and still getting the medal…
At the end of the day, I am able to live with myself…
Next year will be a different story.

Another thing to be happy about was that I made a lot of new friends during the course of the competition… people from SMU, NTU, TP, SP, ITE… practically all the institutions that took place… haha… I enjoy making friends!
-hysterical laughter-

Took a hack of a lot of pictures during the second day… hahah…

Dinner was spent at Holland Village with Cat, Sian Li, Daph, Alan, Arthur, Jason, Sean and Ken. We ate Swanson’s… money go flying… haha … and I almost fell asleep at the table… eyes dry and head heavy… tired…
Went home by car, mrt and by foot… haha… completely knocked out the moment my head touched the pillow…

Which brings me to today…
Woke up with a rather bad headache (could be due to the head-shot) and aching arm… think I slept too long on it last night… haha…
Will be going down to SIM later for my ‘final’ training session before my break…

I am taking a break from TKD.
Need to heal my legs and rejuvenate my mind… been running around too much… and the exams are now my main priority… time (and my health) will tell when I go back to my routine of kick targets.
I doubt that the admin work will stop… if fact I think that will be the only thing I will be doing during my break… shesh~

Although I am taking sabbatical… I still have to prepare myself for the black grading which takes place in June/July… that is the one I am aiming for… and if I really go crazy I might try my foot at the Nationals.
-runs round the house mad-

Before I take my leave of this entry, I would like make my ‘Thank yous’ known:

Thank you, Jason, for your effort in preparing the club for this tournament.
For your time in training the sparrers and more importantly, the pattern teams.
For the headaches you had taking care of the players and worrying about the outcomes.
You can finally take a breather from the sport… haha…

Alan, for leading the club through this journey.
We would have lost our focus if not for you.
Thank you for putting in so much effort for the team.
Thank you for sparring with me and helping me along the way, and for the knee support.
I am proud to be the ‘president’ of your ‘fan club’. :)

Sean, for your motivation and hard work in both the pattern and sparring areas.
If not for you and Alan, I would not have been able to start on the sparring track.
Superbowl is coming!
Wo yong yuan zi chi ni!

Sian Li, my si jie, thank you for and being our ‘Mother’.
If not for you worrying about us, I don think we would have been able to get things done so efficiently.
Thank you for looking out for my health and me.
You will never age for me.

Arthur, thank you for sparring with me during training and imparting your knowledge to me. Being in the pattern team with you was a blast. :)

Daphne and Eelin,
Thanks for team spirit and supporting the fighters so fervently.
No one could ask for better cheerleaders!

My darling Cat,
Thank you for supporting the team in more ways than one.
For your effort in learning the pattern, however little time we had, it was and is very encouraging.
Thank you for taking the time to drive us all over the place, allowing us to make use of your car.
Thank you for your 'Dr.' comments and prescriptions... I have still yet to finish the last carton of milk... heh... You are going to be a hell-of-a-fighter next time... mark my words... I believe in you!

Desmond, Wei Wen and Kelvin,
thank you guys for looking out for me and your efforts in the sparring and pattern team.

My friends and family, who prayed for the team and I during this period.
Thank you all!
When one or two are gathered in His name, we can work wonders because in Him we have the victory!
Woohoo~

Praise God~!
^-^

P.S.
Sorry if I have forgotten anyone in the 'thank you' list...

Emotionally and physically pek chek

Rabbinical saying:
Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.
Rachel Carson:
If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Skill to do comes of doing.

In pain?
Unfortunately, yes.
And both my knees are hurting… *cries*
Then again, I haven taken painkillers for the past two days… better stay off my feet as much as possible… one day left niah…O.O
Gosh… one day left~

Alfred’s leaving for America today.
Have a good flight brother!
Have as much fun as possible!
Journey mercies!

Walked an unbelievable amount yesterday.
Micro paper was better than I expected… though it would be a totally different thing regarding how well I will fair when the paper is returned to me after marking… me thinks they intend to change ‘Mock’ to ‘Preliminary’ permanently … hahah…
A change in description does wonders to a person’s mindset.
Think about it.

I am sooo going to take a nap later… slept at 2 am last night after watching an episode of Cold Case… this particular one was very spine tingling…
Good thing I know what happens to the idiot in the end… if not I don think I would have been able to sleep at all… *bleah*
Creepy character xia… beady eyes, oily hair, weird voice… yucks… makes my hair stand just thinking about him… eeeeee…

Training was agonizing… emotionally and physically… can do part of the pattern… its just a matter how well my legs can take the twisting and turning here and there… the force put on them is a pain… literally.
I hate that cat has to go through all this because of me… I hate that my team suffers because of my injury… if I had a chance to go back in time, I would not have gone for training last Tuesday night… maybe all of this could have been avoided…
Then again… if it is within God’s will for these things to happen, then there is no running away…
Have to keep looking on the bright side… must not let the darkness win…

Resting today should do the trick… please loads of medication tomorrow…
-hysterical laughter-

Need to take plenty of liang cha.
My pimples are exploding… due in part to the McD lah -.-lll
Think the pills are ‘heaty’?
-goes to the kitchen for a cup of liang cha-

As I was saying… go training and not be able to do anything productive is damn gao wei. I see my friends working so hard… and I inside damn pek chek… blardy hell…
I BELIEVE IN MIRCALES!!!!
I WILL BE WELL BY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the card Yilinn!!!!
You donno how much it means to me. :D

Better go do my work now… keep on praying!
Keep praising God! Whatever and whenever!
^-^

Dexa and Voren

"You pierce my soul.
I am half agony, half hope.
Tell me not that I am too late,
That such precious feelings are gone forever
I have loved none but you."

the title for today's entry is made up of the other two types of medication which i am taking... or rather... i just popped them not too long ago... along with the drousy ones... so give or take another 20 minutes or so... i will not be level headed... haha

as for the above quote... i donno who wrote the words... but i can sure understand the emotions felt by that person... haha

went to the bank this morning with Dad to open a savings account... did some errand 'walking' at the same time... blardy hell... i walked so much that now both my knees hurt... basket... i was almost half dead by the time i got home lor... my dad even asked me if i was going to faint on the way home... alamak!
-face palm-

reached home... took a shower... den the meds and knocked out while trying to study for the micro paper... haha... sleep until my neck kanna stiff... *sigh*
Hopefully my sleep tonight will be better...
Woke up from the nap... studied until dinner time... den study some more... donno if all that note flipping will be of good use at all... aiya... just do my best for the mocks lah... given the circumstances... i am the only one i can blame...
-hits head against the wall-

well... if i can starting to think that way i think i had better go get my head back into those notes... before i knock out from the pills... haha... aiyo... need to pack my bag for tml as well... alamak... so many things to do... hahah...

The joy of the Lord is my strength!
Woohoo~!!!!
^-^

Anaret

Just typing some stuff before i knock out from the medication~

Went to the doc this morning before heading to school...
My wonderful doctor only charged me for the medication and waved the consultation fee... best! She also gave me some very good advice which i intend to follow as closely as possible... God willing lah... have to do my best...
-battle cry-

Made it in time for the OT mock ... prelim exam... they changed the name at the last minute... maybe they trying to change the mindset of the students... donno lah... but i made it 5 minutes before the paper started.... thank God... sat there and wrote like a mad woman for the 3 hours... spent some time staring at the ceiling trying to consolidate my thoughts ... write until my fingers kanna deformed... then again... is there anything new about that? :P
-hysterical laughter-

went for training after that... don worry, i din do anything stupid ... just plenty of walking... basket... damn tired lor... i sit down and stand up den see them do pattern until my heart pain... i go see the training yesterday at Kovan also the same thing... (but for other reasons as well lah~ Shall not elabourate...)
Helped Cat with the Chil-jang... she is doing fine with it... very proud of her... but i feel like crying everytime i see them do the pattern... bleah... must get well soon!!!!
-hits head against the wall-
I refuse to let them down!
HEAL I SHALL!!!!
therefore... rest i need... haha...
-loud psychotic laughter-

My hat's off to Jason... he run here and there to coach so many people... very pei fu
... JIA YOU AH J!
You can do it one!
Just a few more days den you can take a nice, long deserved break :)
-waves pompoms all over the place-

if your wondering about the title... its the name of the medication which is currently making me drousy... had to take two tablets just now after food... which brings me to the place where we had dinner just now... haha
Sean, Wei Wen, Alan, Jason and I went to K.A.P.
-shrugs-
What else is new?
My darling Cat gave me a lift to K.A.P.
The guys took the bus... hehe... we drove past them and shouted out to them from the car... haha... good thing we're not Frat-boys... we could have done a hack of a lot worse then shouting... hahaha....
I should seriously consider getting the McD membership thing... haha... eat there so often... practically every week since i started training for IVP lor... paingz...
Big THANK YOU to Sean for the treat!
THANKS SEAN!!!!

Dinner then chit chat, then made for the bus stop... took a bus and then a taxi home... can not afford to walk too much... my knees damn tired... had trouble keeping up with the guys... bleah... now i know how fast i used to walk... argh~

Big thanks also goes out to Alan for lending me his knee support...
Have to wear for both legs now... alamak... feel like Lao Ah Soh... which brings me to another thing... how old do i look?
Baasket... just now we were talking about having 'baby-face' during dinner... Jason said i look like auntie... my gwad... Cat used to think that i am older than her... we're the same age lor!!!!
-tries to run round the house mad-

me feeling the power of the meds now...
starting to sway in front of the computer... typing become more erratic... ladida~

Aside:
Hi Wei Yang!!!!

J Kor ah!!!!
I want to go and sing K Box ah~!!!
Really itching to go leh... but then have to wait till June...
-cries-

Hey Yang Mui!
U prepared for Friday's POA?
I am sure am not... haha... siao liao lo...

Parv-mama~
Thanks for listening to my ranting on Sunday... it helped a lot... and oh yah... i ran into David in school today... haha...

Last but not least,
i would like to send out a HUGE, GIANT *muak* to all my friends for looking out for me during this period... it's been horrible but bearable with you guys and your love around me...
I extremely blessed to have you guys! :D
-great big hugz all round-

Tomorrow is a new day!
I refuse to give up!

I need my rest... more rest please... heh~
Booyah~!!!!
^-^

Totally and Absolutely

Patricia Neal:
A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though, awakens your own expectations.
Paulo Freire:
Education either functions as an instrument which is used to facilitate integration of the younger generation into the logic of the present system and bring about conformity or it becomes the practice of freedom, the means by which men and women deal critically and creatively with reality and discover how to participate in the transformation of their world.
Pete Seeger:
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't.

In pain?
Not as much as before.
Thank You God!
The limping is less but standing up straight hurts… medication is also finishing… should I go back to the doc for more meds or maybe even the dreaded injection?
-grows quiet in thought-

If you recall, I got burnt out two Fridays ago… and now that I have been confined to the house of late, it’s a very good chance to ‘rise from the ashes’
-hysterical laughter-
Been trying to keep myself busy whilst being at home for more than 18 hours at one shot… yes, I have been studying… with my OT paper on Monday, I think I would be screwing with myself if I din at least read my notes in preparation for the occasion… then, there are the other papers… Macro, POA and Micro… all in that order, spread over two weeks… the economics papers are not as worrying as the accounting one… damn…
-hits head against the wall-

Every time I pick up my notes… I managed to get at least 45 minutes worth of information into my gray matter before knocking out… honestly; notes are the cure for insomnia.

Yesterday, din go to work… see all that money go ‘bye bye’
Stayed at home, studied, knocked out and used the computer…
Evening, went out with the family (minus Dad coz he had to work) to Soup Kitchen at Compass Point for birthday dinner.
Soup Kitchen food goooood… must bring Daddy there the next time, I am sure he will love it… though he might not have any liking for the price… but still, it’s a hack of a lot better than eating at that blasted Hong Kong Café. *pui-pui*
Got me a nice new blue-blue blouse. :)
Then we all ended up at my brother’s place before heading home.
How long has it been since I last went to my brother’s house?
I don remember.
Miko’s damn fat now… she gets scared easily… kept hiding under the sink in the toilet… bleah… I wanted to take some pictures of her, but she refused to come out… -.-lll
Kor drove us home and I went back to my computer and books before knocking out…
I dreamt of the national pledge… O.O

Totally in need of a miracle.
Absolutely in need of a miracle.

If you have noticed by now… if I am typing this at home (at this time), I am not in church…just shows how unpredictable life can be aye?
Just a week ago, I was all hyped up for IVP, no injuries except for bruises… and now… I’m growing closer to God :)
-tries to do the dance of joy-

Now the question is:
Will I be able to go back to training tomorrow?
Have to practice with the pattern team… bleah… will the adults allow me to train?
I am not in want of a lecture from dear ol’ Dad…

God knows what my future will be like.
He is my Healer after all.

^-^

Very in need of a miracle

Mary Pettibone Poole:
To repeat what others have said, requires education, to challenge it,
requires brains.
Mohandas K. Gandhi:
If your heart acquires strength, you will be able to remove blemishes from others without thinking evil of them.
Mortimer Adler:
The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.

Still in pain?
Oh yeah~
But at least I can walk a tad better than yesterday.
Thank God!

This is the current description of myself on Friendster… haha
How on point am I?
-hysterical laughter-

Made and perfected by God.
Family and friends are my world.
Crazy about tkd.
Likes to play in the rain.
Proned to various degrees of ditsyness.
Bangs pianos.
Hums tunes at the weirdest times.
Sucker for a cello.
Joyful Pacifist.
Soft spot for chopsticks.
Photography addict.
Serial walker.
Acts weird when in the zone of not having enough rest.
Has a very bad memory... which can be a good or bad thing depending on how one looks at it... haha...
Oddly enough, i can't sing in public... O.o
Crazy after 10.30pm.
Chasing the quality black goal... I WILL DO BETTER!


Something happened pretty recently that caught me off guard and now… bleah… so I am working to keep myself from falling into depression… basket… well… all part of life… I guess good things are never always what they seem aye?

Having trouble sleeping, coz my usual position goes against the healing of my knee…bleah… and when I roll over, my knee shots pain… argh~
How to sleep I ask you?

Last night’s American Idol… hmmm… been a while since I bothered to watch that programme. I normally wait till the final 12 before I take any real interest in the characters on screen.
-chuckles-
Same goes for Amazing race and Survivor… some how or rather, the more you see the shows, the more they seem like reruns… but America’s Next Top Model is another thing… haha…. Project Runway too… get to see pretty people bitching about one another and acting two faced all day long… and still everything looks rosy in the end… how real can one get?
Ok don mind me… the painkillers are making me think weird… haha~

Time to skoot…
^-^



an add on...



Mortimer Adler:
In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.
Nelson Mandela:
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
Pablo Picasso:
All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

The stay at home, in total, has lasted more than 48 hours… I think… it was nice to get my feet out of the house and do some walking. Than again, it was a total pain to walk up and down stairs, from my home to Kovan and back again.
Yes, I could have taken the bus to and from there, but I guess habits diehard no?
-dodges the flying slippers-

Yingz!
I miss you!
Don’t miss another of your mock papers ok?
-great huge big giant hugz-

I was wondering:
If my knee is twisted… can I just twist it in the opposite direction to make it better?
Two wrongs would make a right, ya?
(I can so imagine Yang Mui shaking her head and rolling up a wade of newspapers to hit me on the head with… )
-psychotic laughter-

Will be celebrating 3 birthdays over the next 3 days… including today…
Today – YKM
Tomorrow – TKM
Sunday – Korkor
Nice birthday planning aye?

The thing about staying at home the whole day is that there will be the tendency to get sick of the shows on the television. I know that there are a hundred and one things to catch at any one point in time, then again, I don have cable so there is the main problem…
-falls deep into thought for a while-
I take that back… not having cable is actually a blessing at this point.
If the family had subscribed to cable, I think my studies would be out the window and flat on the pavement ground in pieces…
-hysterical laughter-

Anyone up for some Ichiban Boshi sushi?
*yum-yum*

As I mentioned a few lines up, I went to Heartland Mall just now to meet my mother.
Had to do something radical about my spectacles. We also bought dinner home and I managed to get Mum to try out a blouse from Giodano. Heehe~

From time to time, I find myself baffled at how I managed the last time my knee got into such a predicament. As you might recall, I injured my right knee in 2005 right before New Years… gosh… how did I get through that period?
-starts pulling hair out-

Back to my books… OT on Monday… must finish the minimum by then!
In relation to other things: I refuse to give up!!!!
-battle cry-

^-^

Badly in need of a miracle

Maria Mitchell:
Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
Maria Montessori:
Establishing lasting peace is the work of education; all politics can do is keep us out of war.
Marian Wright Edelman:
Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it.

Still in pain?
Oh yeah~
Even with the painkillers in my system… like mah chum no use leh… continue with the praying I shall…

Spent more than 24 hours at home… what a new record… haha… never though I would set a record of that nature… kind of feel like a caged bird… but I guess this is for my own good lah~

The good thing is that I have been going through my notes… albeit not very efficiently… haha… but at least I am forced to study aye?
If not my routine would be: Eat, sleep, train, play computer and then train some more.
-hysterical laughter-

As part of the ‘staying home’ regime, I watched some VCDs during lunch … den went back to bed to study/sleep/watch TV … take your pick… haha
I suppose tomorrow’s schedule will be around the same… but I will be getting out of the house in the evening… have to do something about my glasses… the frame going to ‘die’ soon. *bleah*

Was listening to this song in the afternoon… been ages since I listened to one of her songs… personally feel that she looks like Twiggy (when she first came onto the modeling scene).
Really pretty. :)

Avril Lavigne – I’m with You

I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

(Mmm..)

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know?
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything’s a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Yeah, yeah.. Oh!

Why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yeah yeah yeah...yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeeeeaaaaaah

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I!

I'm with you!
I'm with you!

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I!

I'm with you!
I'm with you!

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I
I'm with you
I'm with you
im with you


Stayed at home the whole of yesterday, after going to the doc… had wanted to go Kovan in the evening, but I got the ‘killer’ look from my Mum, so I stayed at home.
The family also found out about my injury… which I initially did not want them to know about, especially my father, coz I don want them to worry about me… they got enough problems of their own.
For them to know about my knee is bad enough… good thing they donno about the rest…
They only found out about my knee, and some bruises because I had to get money to pay for going to the doctor… if I was not so broken in the money department, I think they still would not have known… but I guess the way I am currently walking is a dead give away. Bleah~

That’s it for now… have to get back to studying… and my ‘hospital bed’.
Keep praying I shall.
^-^

In need of a miracle

John Powell:
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
Lord Brougham:
Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
Lou Ann Walker:
Theories and goals of education don't matter a whit if you don't consider your students to be human beings.
Maria Mitchell:
We have a hunger of the mind which asks for knowledge of all around us, and the more we gain, the more is our desire; the more we see, the more we are capable of seeing.

“I will not go quietly into the night”

Twisted knee.
In pain?
You bet your life I am.
Went to the doc this morning.
I’ve got medicine to ingest and plenty of resting to do.
If I am still not healed by next week, back to the doc I go, and a jab I will get. Apparently it’s going to be bitch painful, so I’m praying real hard that I do get well ASAP. Have to keep moving, if not my knee will get stiff and hurt like crazy like it did this morning when I woke up… *tears*
For once I found myself wondering why the hack my flat din have a elevator, coz I had to walk down and up all those stairs… all in the attempt to get to the clinic.

Was it a balanced day?
I have no idea… but it was pretty bad. From getting put down, to injuring myself, to not being able to walk.
On the opposite side, I did run into Gwen, my aunt’s friend, my music schoolteacher and Cammy on the bus.
So you tell me, was it a balanced day?

I have no idea why this has to happen to me now. Of all times!
When IVP is less than two weeks away and there are still so many things to be done.
Trying to look on the bright side: at least it happened now and not next week. It would have been a total disaster if it happened next week. For now, there is still hope for continuation in the IVP.

Feeling lousy, more on the side of poomsae, because I let down the team and now Cat has to learn double time to get used to the pattern.
We train so hard and now, I can’t even walk. How to do it?!?!
I refuse to be the one who lets the team down!
Sparring is another thing entirely, its personal and if I let down anyone, it would be myself. I can live with that, but probably not the pattern tournament dismay.

Let’s get my mind off the pain for a while and talk about what has taken place since my last entry.

Went to NTU on Saturday morning with the SIM TKD Club participants.
I had wanted to take the 154 all the way to Boon Lay, but I ended up taking the mrt because of my timing… late lah… den damn paiseh… so have to rush double time.

My first time going to NTU, blasted place is so far. Being with friends makes the experience so much more interesting.
Had the weigh-in and the registration done den we all trouped to Jurong Point to have lunch. Almost all of us ate at Pizza Hut. Alan, Sean and Jason went back to NTU for the briefing and balloting.
Had wanted to go back to join them, but we ended up walking around the mall until they came back… haha…
Between eating and the return of the guys, Daphne, Arthur, Sian Li , Eileen and I went to Toys ‘R’ Us and checked out the toys there. Gosh, I wonder how long it’s been since I went to that shop. Bought some stuff for friends and myself… haha… going to have fun with the bubbles… hahah

The guys came back and we sat in MacD before heading for Plaza Sing. We sat in Starbucks then walked to the Orchard Library. I had to leave early for dinner at home.
Got the bout list on Sunday from Swee Shoon.

Sunday morning, went to church then had to make for Marina Square to exchange the mouth guard I bought from the Liang Seng outlet at Jurong Point. Bought some other stuff as well while I was there. It’s amazing how much Marina Square has changed since the last time I was there.
I can still remember playing along the corridors when I was a little girl… running up and down, looking at the fountain in the middle of the walk ways… hanging around the MacD with my mummy and the kids she was babysitting.
Xiang Dan Nian~
Walked all around MS and then onto Suntec… den took the bus home in time for a quick shut-eye before heading to the CC for training.

Monday: final Micro lecture = Final lecture of the term.
Ok lah… at least I din fall asleep. I was awake the whole time. But the toopid LT had its thermostat at sub-zero conditions. I was freezing.
Training was not very effective, I was half dead and very tired.

Which brings me to Tuesday and all its blunders.
I guess I have myself to blame for my injuries. And the twisted knee.
-hits head against the wall-
Too tired, both in mind and body. Now I pay for it. Dearly. Very dearly.
Forced to rest now.
Good thing?

Gwad, I din cry when I twisted my knee, but I did when I realise what was going to be the outcome of the injury. Letting people down is the last thing I wanna do especially at this time.
I’m not good at accepting fate when there are others involved in the mix. As much as I would not like to admit it, my actions are going to affect plenty of my friends in a negative sense… and I can’t stand it…

It’s a test and exercise of my faith in how much God is going to do for me.
Let His will be done in my life.

Damn painkillers are not working!
-screams in agony-

I have to make the most of what time is given unto me.
Keep me in your prayers please.

Trying very hard to look on the bright side of things.
^-^